Slowly Moving Forward...

You don't need to understand the language of a song

in order to get the message

...

amazing huh...

My days have been getting better

time slowly heals.

I still misses him badly

I could lay in bed whole night and space out

songs I listen to on my playlist

reminds me of everything we did

watch the sun set by the beach

(how i force you to sit and not squat coz you said the rock are dirty, how i held on to your arms to steady my flat feet...the interlocking of fingers when we walk coz I'm afraid of the motorcyclist which makes me feel secure, I secretly adore it )

the stroll we had

the cakes we shared

the time I vomitted while eating durian cake and you had to feed me with lemon slices

the time where you had to hold my arm coz my feet was aching from the crazy heels you asked me not to wear

the food you ordered for me because I suck in my chinese and half the time i dont know what is what and cannot differentiate between some type of noodles. I just wink and you will know

the times where you get upset i waste water and will drink them for me

the times where i did on purpose that i cannot finish my water coz i know you wan them

...

the compliments you gave me

how my lipstick suit me

how you compliment me even when i was wearing a 3 year old ugly t-shirt

the times when i refuse to eat and you buy me KFC coz thats what I love the most and also very convinient

the shopping trips you took me

the times where we drive farrrrrrr just for a piece of chicken.

i could go on for hours about the happy times we had.
I choose to only remember the Happy Times ...
I don't want to hate you or get all upset ..

...

it's almost like everything we did

there is a song for it

I could just cry myself to sleep

which helps me forget everything for a couple of hours

I'll wake up the next day feeling miserable

losing my apetite

which caused me to lose weight as well

my waist is now 24 !

my work pants are hanging on my hips ... literally...

I looked ugly ... unkept ... unpolished.

...

I need to move on from where I'm at now.

I realise

 sometimes

when it's not yours

it'll never be yours

no matter how hard you force it to be

everyone will end up feeling upset

and angry

every emotions are heighten

every little things are being amplified

...

I just have to say

I LOVE you very much while it last

I may not show it

I may say words that will hurt you

But I sincerily Loved you a lot.

I boast about you so much

my friends are sick of me loving you.

...

So much so I became obsessed

until I was being pushed.

the pain

the hurt

is now unbearable

...

ladies are not doormat

It's really painful.

but I have no choice

but to wish you best of luck

For now it's okay

let me be on my own

and heal the deep cut slowly

I just want to be happy

carefree

and not bother so much.