Why

Lately there has been many Why's going on in my brain

I dont know why

I just felt like questioning

Hence, the sudden blog post. 

...

I know life is never fair

it is always a bitch

I know it is up to us to decide what and how we want to live

but why?

....

Why?

Why does good things happen to bad people?

Why does bad people who underwent 3 abortions can still bear 2 babies?

Why isit good people have to pay so much to do IVF?

Why do people you love don't love you back in return?

Why don't we appreciate what we have?

Why do those kids in Cambodia can be so poor and yet so kind to selfless

and my list of WHY can go on and on...

...

WHY...

Slowly Moving Forward...

You don't need to understand the language of a song

in order to get the message

...

amazing huh...

My days have been getting better

time slowly heals.

I still misses him badly

I could lay in bed whole night and space out

songs I listen to on my playlist

reminds me of everything we did

watch the sun set by the beach

(how i force you to sit and not squat coz you said the rock are dirty, how i held on to your arms to steady my flat feet...the interlocking of fingers when we walk coz I'm afraid of the motorcyclist which makes me feel secure, I secretly adore it )

the stroll we had

the cakes we shared

the time I vomitted while eating durian cake and you had to feed me with lemon slices

the time where you had to hold my arm coz my feet was aching from the crazy heels you asked me not to wear

the food you ordered for me because I suck in my chinese and half the time i dont know what is what and cannot differentiate between some type of noodles. I just wink and you will know

the times where you get upset i waste water and will drink them for me

the times where i did on purpose that i cannot finish my water coz i know you wan them

...

the compliments you gave me

how my lipstick suit me

how you compliment me even when i was wearing a 3 year old ugly t-shirt

the times when i refuse to eat and you buy me KFC coz thats what I love the most and also very convinient

the shopping trips you took me

the times where we drive farrrrrrr just for a piece of chicken.

i could go on for hours about the happy times we had.
I choose to only remember the Happy Times ...
I don't want to hate you or get all upset ..

...

it's almost like everything we did

there is a song for it

I could just cry myself to sleep

which helps me forget everything for a couple of hours

I'll wake up the next day feeling miserable

losing my apetite

which caused me to lose weight as well

my waist is now 24 !

my work pants are hanging on my hips ... literally...

I looked ugly ... unkept ... unpolished.

...

I need to move on from where I'm at now.

I realise

 sometimes

when it's not yours

it'll never be yours

no matter how hard you force it to be

everyone will end up feeling upset

and angry

every emotions are heighten

every little things are being amplified

...

I just have to say

I LOVE you very much while it last

I may not show it

I may say words that will hurt you

But I sincerily Loved you a lot.

I boast about you so much

my friends are sick of me loving you.

...

So much so I became obsessed

until I was being pushed.

the pain

the hurt

is now unbearable

...

ladies are not doormat

It's really painful.

but I have no choice

but to wish you best of luck

For now it's okay

let me be on my own

and heal the deep cut slowly

I just want to be happy

carefree

and not bother so much.

Today I'm Feeling Much Better

Listening to Sinaran !
I havent buy any cosmetics or toold yet this month yet my salary is almost half gone.
and worst part is I spend them all on food and random items I see ... argh

...

I have been feeling very down for the past few weeks.

Almost as though everything that I do

is wrong and not at all going smooth

...

there has to be obstacles everyday

I'll wake up feeling afreshed

and then end the day staring at my room ceiling

thinking

spacing out

or even cry

...

Yet Today I want to thank God

for slowly taking me out of all the these misery slowly

His timing not ours

...

I want to thank God today for blessing me with 4 very great friends

I may have over 300 friends on facebook.

but the ones that really stick with me through thick and thin is only 4

and of the 4

2 are people whom I recently met

..

I thank god that they are so supportive

Giving me great advice

...

Owh everyone has to have friends who are at least 4-7 years older than you

their matured brain is going to help you through shitty times easier. haha

coz it does make sense.

their point of view is very much different

the way they lay out the pros and cons for you before you decide compulsively.

...

AHH

today I'm feeling so good for some reason

I wore extra nice to work. and my dad saw me in the morning and was shocked

hahaha..

...

I'm sure there are more interesting thing awaiting me ..

I'm scared

I don't know whats next

But I'll take a step at a time!

I think in a couple more days I'll be fit enough to start blogging again on my other page..

...

Thank the Lord for all he had done. 
May he continue to guide me and teach me

Randomness at Its Peak .

I've been going through

something lately

thus, answer to your curious question on

"why does she hardly blog?"

...

I'd openly admit that this is something which

I'm experiencing for the first time

...

None the less,

I thank god for lovely people

Anyhow,

I went shopping the other day

and well purchased a new pair of working shoes

nothing too expensive

because I know I'll be running in them more than walking

or to the fact that the way I walk will somehow ruin the shoe

*gangster style*

...

My father asked me to get myself a pair of Clarks or Hush Puppies

not that I cannot afford it haha

I just don't want a pair of it yet .

and now I sort of like regret not purchasing myself a nice pair of shoes

coz I went to work in the morning and then

I got blisters

I believe you guys know how bitchy blisters can be right

even worst is when I had to push and stand my way through in public transportations

...

Owh yes ,

I also purchased a new handbag !!

Got it off for a price to steal

it was on 70% sales

hehehe

and so I paid only RM90 bucks for it

I was supposed to get it in Hot Pink

one of my favouritet colour which I don't find it difficult to pull off at all..

...

Lets see what else

hmm, I have grown out my brows and was thinking of getting them threaded for the first time

still contempilating though

I'm worried the lady over threaded it and then I'm left with no brows

(brows are really precious to me as they are sparse )

hahaha

...

Lemon is sitting for her finals now

out of the bloom

it reminded me of

my time when I sat for mine

I'll literally toast my brain

and then I'll just crash on the bed sleep and then waking up again to study

(i had to force mmyself as I'm an average student, heheh)

then after that I'll spend an hour playing games

playing what sort ?

well at that time I played temple run mega jump and angry gran

I remember getting all excited and then when I failed to go to the next level I'll suddenly SHOUT

and pissed off my housemates and roommates

Then I'll go dinner with someone I fancy

from 8-11pm , come back and continued studying

I love and miss those days.

...

hmmm..

sometimes

people says

some stuff happens for a reason

if it's for the better

I'm okay

but if it's for the worst

I'm not okay

I just don't understand why certain stuff happens

...

Action reaction

we do something and we must be ready for the consequences

but then why

why must it be small issue made big?

why can't give and take and then live a happy harmonious life

...

I just don't understand.



Schooling Vs. Work Life.

I've always thought that
being part of the working society
be it

 an Office Lady  or a Sales and Marketing Executive or whatever field we are in

is something glamorous
...
we drive nice cars
wear nice clothes
buy designer handbags and attending various social function

..

Drama series and what we see in movies are all lies

hahaha

I have worked before I graduated

Part Time Job

as a sales assistant and a surveyor

I stood there selling designer chocolates then subsequently was sent to sell designer bags

and then went around the premis doing survey for a surveying company

...

Job may seem easy

but extremely taxing i tell you

totally got exploited when I worked with the surveying company

low pay long hours.

late to work 10 minutes and be ready to get deduct rm25 from your salary 

lost one bear (limited edition complimentary gift) and had to pay rm50 !

Padon me but that experice was

 damn celaka

haha.. 
None the less it was fun.
Everything was so carefree and little stress

...

Honestly after entering the working feld right after graduation

has been a great eye opener
indeed
study life is waaay better than work life
...
My life right now is as dull as ever
routined job
day in day out
same thing
get extremely stress with work
(because they come in , in a bulk !)
facing the same thing everyday
probably also because this is my field of job.
...
Honestly now that I've started working
I really miss study life
haha
I miss my coursemate
I miss hanging out till late at night
I miss having lots of holiday and going round malaysia for small vacation.
...
Working is not too bad
except that it's dull
the only drive that kept me going is the interest towards my work
and also the monthly salary which I'll received at the end of each month
then I'll get to spend it buying nice clothes , and hopefully a designer handbag soon
(drama series got it half right about working life I guess )
haha, a win win situation?
Probably so
=)
I wonder if I'm alone in this situation and thoughts.

New Year Resolution?

What's your New year resolution?

I have a couple of them

...

Lets see

1. Learn to stay and commit to a healthy lifestyle ( been saying this like forever)

2. Stay Happy (extream vital !)

3.Learn to cope with stress (Definitely a must)

4. To pick a place and then go travel and visit it.  (where should I go? Taiwan, Somewhere in Malaysia? or maybe Thailand ?)
5. To learn how to drive better? (haha)

...

I really hope I can keep up with what I mentioned above.

sticking to something said is the most difficult part

...

So

What have I been up to lately?

Work Work Work and Work

I now only pray that I won't turn into a workaholic

Been trying to save up as much as possible as well.

I need the cash to get myself a car haha

...

I learnt this crazy attitude from Lemon and Seong Yee

whereby to rely on our one self on everything

Not a bad thing after thinking about it

teaches us how to learn to take up responsibilities

To rely on ourself

to work hard to achieve what we want

...

owh and I honestly think

 I need a break.

A nice holiday

I'm thinking by the beach

...

aside from that

hmm what should I blog next?



A challenge

Thanks Angeline for giving the oppurtunity inviting me to contribute to this blog. =)
I'm not type of person who used to share feelings and thoughts, but erm.. I like to give a try this time.=)

In any projects or activities, teamwork is most important to reach the target and perfect outcome.
But if your team members are not responsible for their work, this is a disaster.
And for my case, yeah.. big disaster.

I never though I have this 'luck' to same group with such irresponsible people, plus it's a huge project with heavy credit hours.  I wonder with their attitute and lack sense of responsibility can bring them how far in engineering career.

Anyway, with few days lack sleeping to do this project, Kupt and I manage to finish it. Thanks Kupt for staying up late with me to do this. =)
I believe this is  a challenge to me.

Wee~ finally I pass this on very last day of 2012 and I'm ready to welcome 2013!

Hopefully 2013 will be better year for me~